This is an article by Ann Izedunor for Daily Times gives some helpful advice to teens and parents alike on the dangers of early sex. What do you think, is she spot on or way off the mark?All teens have sexual lives, whether with others or through fantasies. An important part of adolescence is thinking about and experimenting with aspects of your sexuality. This will help you to grow and discover who you are. An important part of your sexuality is physical changes your body goes through; for example, puberty, which includes the onset of the first menstrual period for girls, and the first emission of semen for boys. Because of changes in nutrition, these changes in your bodies occur at earlier ages than they did for your parents. Many teens are physically ready for sexual activity before they are emotionally ready. It is important to think, learn, and plan for sexual activity. Parents are the best teacher when it comes to advising their teens towards having an early sex. When parents fail to guide their teens, they become something else. Teens need guideline for them to succeed. Most teens have started engaging themselves in early sexual activities. And not only that, they even engage themselves in drugs dealing! When teens engage themselves in early sex, it ends up destroying their lives! The pressure on teens to have sex is ‘’enormous,’’ and not only do they have to contend with the direct pressure to do it from their date or steady boyfriend/girlfriend.
When teenage girls have early sex, the end up experiencing these pains, worries, fear, anxiety, regret, dishonour, dread, embarrassment, apprehension, humiliation, hesitation, etc. They may also feel their internal pressure to keep pace with their friends, as if they are competing in a marathon to lose their virginity. The only way parents can help their teens resist these pressures is by anticipating them and also discussing it with them. Parents need to be free with their teens even when it comes to sex! For they will surely come across it if they are not properly lectured, they will definitely encounter it through their friends, in school and other places. It’s not easy being a teen. Teens face lots of challenges and they have many activities going on in their lives. Teens need to be taught and advised towards having an early sex, so as to enlighten them on the risks they will encounter, which will end up ruining their lives. Furthermore, teens are more likely to have early sex if they:
· Entered puberty early;
· Socialize with youngsters who approve of and encourage sexual activity;
· Place little value on education;
· Have a poor relationship with their parents, particularly their father;
· Rarely attend religious instruction or services.
So parents really need to lecture their teens towards having early sex. Teens that have sexual intercourse at a young age and have multiple partners have a higher rate of contacting diseases. Early sexual activity puts teens at risk for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, and of cervical cancer. Preventing teenage sex requires skillful parenting, an open dialogue about sexual matters, and straight talk about the potential health and emotional risks. Parents need to be open with their teen by having a conversational chat with them. Parents are more likely to do some of these:
Healthy Communication: when parents order their teen not to have sex, she might get defensive and shut down the lines of communication. Instead, instill open and honest communication, which will help her feel safe in discussing sexual matters without fear of judgment, criticism or punishment. She’ll also be more likely to listen to your concerns and recommendations. To initiate a dialogue, ask for her feelings about sex. You might lead off by saying, “I’m curious — what are your feelings about sex?” Show genuine interest in her viewpoints without arguing or criticizing them, even if you don’t agree. If she admits to having a sexual experience, avoid become angry or critical. Instead, let her know that you’ll always love her unconditionally.
After your teen shares her viewpoints about sex, it’s your turn. Avoid acting upset, fearful or insistent that she agrees with your point of view. Instead, calmly explain why you hope she’ll wait to have sex until she’s older and in a committed relationship. Tell her why you believe sex is more meaningful and rewarding when it’s an intimate act between two loving and responsible adults. You might even share some of your own early sexual experiences and any lessons about sexual responsibility that you learned from them. Encourage her to always feel free to talk to you about sexual matters, including questions that may seem confusing and annoying.
Consequences: Without making it sound like a lecture, calmly inform your teen about the dangers associated with early sex. For the females, Sex places her at risk for unwanted pregnancy and contracting STDs such as HIV, herpes, syphilis and gonorrhea. And for the male, early sex makes them lose concentration and even causes them some damages. Your teen might believe that it’s safe to engage in some sexual activities that don’t include intercourse, but the only way to ensure total safety is through abstinence. Let her know that some STDs can be contracted through anal sex, oral-genital sex or even skin-to-skin contact. When parents have conversational chat with their teens, they will understand the dangers of having early sex and they will turn a new leaf. But when parents are ignorant of the attitude of their teens towards sex, they will make wrong decisions with their lives and terrible mistakes. Teens love it when they are being cared for and advised. Teens are not perfect, they are still growing up and they are mostly attracted to what they consider fun. When it comes to the girls, parents need to advise them on the dangers of having early sex. Like becoming pregnant, losing their virginity, contracting diseases, losing concentration, etc. There are so many dangers attached to teenagers having early sex, and parents are advised to lead their teens on the right path. Because if parents fail to educate their teens and they later ruin their lives, they will question their parents and can even go to the extreme end of hating their parents. Teens are not perfect, they need to be loved!